I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
