My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
