I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
