he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That accounts for only three of the penises
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
