Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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