omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
