Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
