I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
