the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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