did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
