im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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