can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
