So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize