I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
