sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
