Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
