I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
