we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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