Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
