He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
