I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
