So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
