Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't deserve a penis
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
