it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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