this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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