"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
