Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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