Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
