Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
