allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
