This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
