that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
