party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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