did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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