So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
