Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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