69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
