You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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