Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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