girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
