Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize