omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
