I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
