i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
