You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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