Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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