Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
