HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
