would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize