Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
