weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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