ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
