He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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