if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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