it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
