i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
