i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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