You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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