I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
