Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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