That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
