i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
a search helicopter?!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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